soon, soon, I feel it in my waters...

I was happy once again to veg out this weekend, and not do much, having managed to get through a number of errands that needed to be done. The list looks like, pick up the shirts from the drycleaners, check to make sure the ATO has the right details for the "stimulus" money, get contracts for second job and other associated tasks done [including staff card and library access],

Feeling somewhat anxious about upcoming things.

In my mind the count down for, fingers crossed, what is hopefully the finale that messy little incidenct at the beginning of the year has the music speeding up and getting more intense, and the lights flashing even more quickly. Yes it looks like the bureaucratic wheels are finally turning and will spit out the result. And it looks like it will happen soon.

I'm feeling a little bit angsty, and anxious just wanting the whole thing to be over, and being able to feel freer and move onto the next part of my life without this hanging over my head.

The anxiousness and angst felt melted somewhat for what was to be another weekend of a great surprise. I do quite like surprises, especially ones that bring a smile to my face.

I'm still smiling now - despite being very behind in preparing for work tomorrow.

Oh well...

a turning point...

it seems that when you least expect it, the world somehow through serendipity, things start to pick up...
started back at work... we're heading into a very busy phase at the moment, so it was like jumping in feet first with a lot of backload and new projects to get across very quickly... there were some moments where the emotion of the start of year started to wave over me, so I took a coffee break had a couple of deep breaths, and was able to keep powering on. It helps that I work in a great workplace.
I have also started to see friends with more regularlity... I was a little neglectful before... in the space of a week, I have had dinner and lunch with quite a few people.
I'm still feeling sad but it is time to start moving on. The date in March where the cogs of the bureaucratic/judicial processes will hopefully give their decision is the time when I will be clear of everything, including feeling sad.
And I'm thinking of adopting a pet... I've seen some really beautiful ones on the RSPCA website... I miss having the companionship of the previous cat - especially the way she would talk to me, wake me up in the morning, and just lay and cuddle with me...

tying up loose ends...

Whilst I'd initially envisaged that this would work more in a list like fashion, where I jot down quickly the smiley and/or snarly things that happened in my day, writing in whole sentences also seems to be a lil cathartic.

I'm in the middle of tying up the loose ends of this year. In hindsight, I really have had a year I could be snarly about - 2 major surgeries (one of which was very unexpected, and neither was really wanted), ongoing problems with a medical issue, not being able to concentrate well on uni, issues with the bf (at times), and some other things I don't feel obliged to comment on... but at the moment I'm feeling rather calm about it all, and instead of harbouring the hurt and anger and all those snarly feelings, I'm sorting out the things that need to be sorted.

So if there was a list I think there would be one things on it:

Snarl:

• bureaucracy involved in getting things sorted!

That is all...