throat full of sore

it's not often where I work that all the staff across NSW gets together - and when we do there's lots of fun...

last night was one of those nights where we all got together. Started off in the pub and then walked collectively to the restaurant. Had a staff dinner with the big bosses, pleasant conversation, food was alright, wine flowing.

The highlight of the night has to be the karaoke. Usually I'm not a big fan of karaoke, having been introduced to this strange past time in a pub and with Bon jovi - so not pretty...
Anyway, there we all were in this booth, remote control in hand singing everything from "Bridge over troubled waters" to "Total eclipse of the heart".

The term singing should be used rather lightly, because this morning I discovered we most certainly didn't sing, we yelled all the lyrics. My throat is so full of sore, that I even a voice that Shirley Bassey would be proud of!

Empty... like the universe...

I'm feeling empty, emotionally drained, and my muscles are all clenched. I have had one of the most horrendous and saddest nights of my life. I never thought I would be the victim of a crime involving an unbelievably intoxicated person. Especially a person I care about.

So my snarl is directed at what appeared to the cause (though I'm sure there maybe underlying issues that are to do with this person)

• drinking alcohol to extreme
• resulting intimdating and aggressive behaviour from this
• the people who sold this person the alcohol, whilst in an intoxicated state, in the first place

Much smile? bring on the crosswords of the cryptic variety

The festive brunch time celebration and the couple of days following were bliss - eating, drinking (alcoholic and non alcoholic varieties of drinks naturally!), swimming, relaxing, spending time with the bf's family, playing cards, watching football etc...

I had an epic smile - one that I thought would herald in the new year.

Alas this is not to be... I don't exactly have my snarl on, but I've definately got smile failure.

I stayed home on Sunday night, spending time with the cat and trying to get more than 3 hours of sleep that night. The bf went out with his siblings and it seemed that things were going to be ok..

well it seems that there was a little too much drinking, words were had, and that the smile that I thought would pull me through my after-new-years-mostly-blood-and-soon-to-be-extended-meet-the-families-gathering-for-my-younger-sibling-and-the-live-in-partner, is not to be.

Instead I find myself calling a stack of people to find out what happened and listening to my bf vent, whilst the house cleaning I wanted to get done before NYE proper is getting further behind.

It looks like I've had to change my plans for the nye festivities - blah! And I think it will be easier to go solo to my blood and extended family shindig (no need to subject the bf to years of pent up everything thrown together at a special event!).

On a side, and smiley note, the Summer Herald has a guide to the cryptic crossword for those of us who don't quite get how to do them... I am epic smile when I sit down and do them!

Expectations

It seems there are some families that do end of year celebrations good and some families that don't... I think the main thing that separates the two types of families are expectations - whether or not people come with particular ideas of how the day should and shouldn't work and want to inflict those ideas on everyone else in attendence (my idea of bad bad bad end of year celebrations, from experience!).

Tomorrow I'm spending the day with the bf's family. A day where people largely hang out together, drink a little bit too much, eat a little bit too much, and most importantly no expectations from anybody. Of course there are the basic rules so that you don't offend the nice people - be polite/curteous, stay clothed in public, that kind of thing. And it makes for a very enjoyable day.

Compare with festive celebrations of the past, at my family, where for example you get screamed at by a sibling because the hug you gave another sibling was longer and you didn't set the table right. Mostly it becomes a passive aggressive seeth fest, then add alcohol and time and then watch as all the perceived hurts from birth come bubbling to the surface.

I'm really glad I'm going end of year stuff the bf's family. It's too bad we've got a "party" with my family in the New Year.

Wish I could escape those expectations - especially those of attending this family shin-dig...