thinking about the year in review...

I prefer to think about reflections on the last year about the time of my birthday.. but given the magnitude of external events and the newspaper stuff that goes with the year in the review stuff, I've already started thinking about.

It has been a rather strange and crazy year for me... so much so I have dubbed 2008, at least in my life and the first time I have ever given a year a specific theme, "the year of the hospital"...

2 operations, endless time spent in waiting rooms waiting for specialists appointments, the tooing and froing between different hospital departments, x-rays (and other variations of looking inside the human body), taking various medications, post operative recuperation that takes weeks, and of course the scars... this might sound a bit snarly - it's not intended to be, it was just how it was.

The hospital seemed to feature quite a lot in how I organised my life this, so much so, I applied to have the last semester of uni wiped clean, and took quite a bit of time off work.

The sad thing about the scars is that they feature as a permanent reminder of what happened internally (what was taken out, fixed, sutured, etc)...

But they also remind me. externally, of how I survived. And besides, who doesn't love a good scar!

tying up loose ends...

Whilst I'd initially envisaged that this would work more in a list like fashion, where I jot down quickly the smiley and/or snarly things that happened in my day, writing in whole sentences also seems to be a lil cathartic.

I'm in the middle of tying up the loose ends of this year. In hindsight, I really have had a year I could be snarly about - 2 major surgeries (one of which was very unexpected, and neither was really wanted), ongoing problems with a medical issue, not being able to concentrate well on uni, issues with the bf (at times), and some other things I don't feel obliged to comment on... but at the moment I'm feeling rather calm about it all, and instead of harbouring the hurt and anger and all those snarly feelings, I'm sorting out the things that need to be sorted.

So if there was a list I think there would be one things on it:

Snarl:

• bureaucracy involved in getting things sorted!

That is all...

on the wagon... of updating this blog

not really in a smiley or snarly mood... just so so...

finally out of my shell and getting around to catching up with friends and answering the phone/messages when people call (a major step from where I was a couple of weeks ago).

Sorting out the uni stuff a little bit at a time... I'm still feeling heavy about it.

Post operation stuff sucks! I'm still in pain, and the stuff that sometimes exudes is pretty gross... still can't wait til the swelling dies down, and stuff returns to normal...

balance

smile

• hugs with the bf, especially when he strokes my hair
• stroking the cat and when she lies on my lap
• watching dvds

snarl

• surgery - I'm in a world of hurt
• uni... not feeling the capacity to get it done

that is all...

SNARL

I've had a rather draining day...

I had to see the Dr over an ongoing serious illness I have - I need to up the medication...

I have an operation scheduled on Friday.

I suspect my boyfriend has some sort of problems at the moment but is not willing to speak about them at the moment - wanting to come home and curl up with him instead it's like a war zone. He's drunk, belligerent, and completely unreasonable. Though he did appear to make dinner and do the dishes.

Work is crap.